Security

Who doesn't want security?

Definition of SECURITY
1: the quality or state of being secure: as 
  a : freedom from danger : safety  
  b : freedom from fear or anxiety 

I'll be honest...for many years, I have wanted to feel secure.  Secure in myself, secure in my relationships, financially secure.  Safe, no anxiety, no fear.  Protected.  It has seemed so unobtainable.  Instead, I have felt insecurity in so many areas of my life that I sometimes wonder how I even manage to function.  

Definition of INSECURE
1: not confident or sure : uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe <an insecure investment>
3: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4a : not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage> b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

A couple nights ago when out to dinner with a lovely friend, and dare I say mentor, I was given a challenge.  And yes, it will be a challenge.  She suggested as I go through this Lenten season, as I work through the study on Psalms that I am currently doing with Hello Morning, that I pray about what lies I believe about myself, and to lay them at the foot of the cross.  Now, I admit that at first I thought, "YES, I can do that!"....and then I thought, "Um, I believe a lot of those lies...how can I let them go?"  You see, they have shaped a lot of my life. Yikes.  

For instance, I am not very self-confident...I have a horrible time speaking in front of people, I fear looking strangers in the eye, I tend to look at the ground when I walk rather than out at the world.  I've been told I'm a little unapproachable at times...because my insecurities tend to turn me inside of myself, I believe.

I have always wanted to feel financially secure.  Instead of being content with what I have...I have let a lack of money loom large in my mind to make me feel like I will never get ahead, will always struggle....

So, as I read Psalm 63 this week, here is what I find:

Psalm 63

    A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

 ¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
   and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you;
   I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
   they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
   and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
   all who swear by God will glory in him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced. 

My God loves me - His love is better than life.  My God will satisfy me - He provides all I need (and I have seen proof of this over and over in my life...shame on me for forgetting in the stressful times!)  My God is my help, He protects me and upholds me.  My God gives joy.

And security.  All that adds up to security.  I don't need to look for security in other people.  I don't need to look for security in money.  I don't need to look for security...God's grace is all I need.  I am not insecure.  I am fully secure...in Him alone.  And so this lie that I have believed about myself for most of my life...now goes in a little purple box to lay at the foot of the cross.  I give it up to Him.  And from now on, I will remind myself that I live a life SECURE in my Savior.