A Change in Me...

Alright, so it's been a while since I've been here....having trouble putting thoughts on a blank page lately.  Lots going on in my head so that every time I try to put the words together into coherent sentences...well, I freeze and it just doesn't happen.  So here goes...let's see what happens....

Lately, I have been putting into perspective what I want my life to look like.  A less cluttered, clean and peaceful home.  A schedule that doesn't make me drop down exhausted at the end of every day.  Plenty of time to spend with my Lord in Bible study, prayer and just resting in His presence.  Some semblance of organization.  No more "I don't know."  No more doing things just because it's good for someone else, even if it's killing me.  No more wishy washy.  Making decisions based on what God wants in my life.  Setting goals, looking forward.  Spending time with the people who mean the most to me.  Staying in touch with all those I love better.  My own brother lives three blocks away from me....I see him maybe once every few months.  Ridiculous.  Less worry, less stress...more faith.

And I realized something just a few days ago.  I realized that I am farther along that path than I thought.  I realized that I no longer stress and worry about money like I used to.  I know what I have and what I don't.  I know my debts and the things I need to take care of.  And I know that it will all be met.  I know that my God who loves me, also provides for me.  If I look back in my life, I see over and over and over just how well God has provided.  I see all the time and energy and sleep I wasted worrying over things that God had under control.  There is such FREEDOM in letting that worry go.

I worry about the people in my life and whether or not I am pleasing them.  When really, the only one I truly answer to is God.  And if I am living my life the way He wants....I will probably still not please every person in my path, but I will please Him.  I can't control the way someone else reacts to a decision I make or the way I behave or the words I say.  But if I am doing everything in love, compassion and truth then I have nothing to regret.  I know there will be people who don't like me.  I know there will be people who get angry with me.  I know there will be people who no longer want anything to do with me.  I will still pray for those I care about.  I will still behave with love and compassion and truth.  There is FREEDOM in letting go of that worry.

There is a change in me.  I am calmer.  I worry less about how much I will accomplish each day and more about how I spent my day reflecting my God.  I look forward to the future with assurance that when I focus on Him, my life will be as it should.

Peace.  May you have peace today as you let God handle things.  Step into that freedom...

Philippians 4:6-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.