31 Days - Psalm 30:5 - Joy in the Morning

So, how was your day? Pretty good...or not?  Did you have a rotten day today?  Did you fail today?  Did you holler at the kids, lose your patience in the long line in the store, snap at your husband, or think nasty thoughts about that other driver?  Did everything you do turn out "wrong" and you felt like nothing got accomplished?  Did your sins today feel so heavy and bad that surely even God is shaking His head at you?  Did you hear the lies in your head that say..."You are not enough"  or "You are a rotten mother/friend/wife, worker" or "You should just crawl in that hole and never come out again because obviously you can't do anything right"?

Take a look at this verse...ponder it for a moment....
 
Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.

God IS gracious.  God IS forgiving.  God IS loving.  He is a God of second chances and starting over.  

Lamentations 3:21-23 
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

These are words worth memorizing.  Great love, compassion...they are there for us every day.  Even when it feels like we have failed too many times.  Even when it feels like the sin is too great.  Even when it feels like the voice of lies is the loudest thing we hear. 

God is there...He is waiting, strong and patient, with love...to hear your confessions, to wrap you up in forgiveness, to change your heart and make it new.  He is a God of justice, yes, but also a God of compassion. 

He is faithful.  He is merciful.  He is joy. 

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


 

Choosing joy...a repost

Chin up.  Shoulders back.  Put on the armor of God and feet forward.  I admit it...I've been wallowing in self-pity.  Sadness, depression, fear.  Allowing Satan to speak his words of lies into my heart.  Well, no more.  Satan can take his lies and keep them to himself.  I am grateful for who I am, what I have, and what my Father has in store for me.  It's a new day, full of potential.  I will pray for the one I miss each time I think of them, but I will not allow their choices to break me.  It is a new day to put on confidence in who I am in God, in what I have to offer, and to step forward and Shine for Him. 

I can do all things, through Christ, who gives me strength.  Phil 4:13


I would like to repost something here.... a post I wrote some time ago about choosing joy...


I've been thinking about joy today.  Elusive sometimes, isn't it?  And yet, it's within our reach.  It's within the moments of every day.  It's there for us to choose.  "To choose?" you might ask.  Yes, to choose.  When you wake in the morning, do you say to yourself "Today I am going to have a crummy day?  Today I choose to be grumpy.  Today I choose to look at the wrong side of the fabric and live my life with fear, anxiety and desperation.  Today I will let bitterness and anger rule in my heart."  Of course, you don't.  Who would choose to have a bad day?


On the other hand, however, how often do you get up in the morning and say "Today, I choose joy!  Today I will look at the brighter side of things.  Today I will trust God to direct my footsteps.  Today I will look on Him for all I need.  Today I will say "Yes" to His purposes for me.  Today I will be grateful for the things I have, the gifts I am blessed with, the people who grace my life."


Ok, so the first one is a little extreme.  But what if you wake in the morning and open your eyes, take a deep breath and say "Today, I choose joy."  How would that change your outlook?  Maybe just try it right now.  Breathe in deep, and as you slowly let it out let your heart say these words...."Today, I choose joy."


Today I choose to trust in God.  Today I choose to give all my trials, fears, worries to Him.  Today I choose to live a life of thankfulness.  Today I choose to love those around me with the love of God...not my own weak version of it.  Today I choose to forgive and let go of the things that hurt me.  Today I will let those who matter to me know it.  Today I will give as God would have me give.

Today, I choose joy.

*************
I thank you, God for all you have given me.  For all that has come into my life...even for brief periods.  For those that leave gaping holes and hurts, I turn them over to You and trust that You will use those holes and hurts for good.  Thank you, Father, for forgiving me and for holding me fast in Your righteous and strong right hand.  Help me now to move forward, eyes on the goal...Your goal. 
Amen

Who Am I Really? (Or...Letting Go of the Lies....again)

I have a confession to make....I have had a really rotten couple of days.  Really rotten.  And in these last couple of days I have had to do some letting go.  That I REALLY did not want to do.  And it hurts and it brings back all those voices in my head that tell me over and over that I am not enough, I am worthless, I am a fool, I am stupid and ugly and, and, and.....  I feel like I am drowning in an ocean of horrible cold tendrils reaching out and pulling me under....

And I wonder why?  Why do I let the Enemy speak to me?  Why do I let his voice have precedence in my head??  Why do I listen to his hiss and let those words take hold of my heart?  Why do I believe that's who I am?

In the search box on the right, type in the words letting go of lies.  This will give you a list of posts where I share some of these lies that I have allowed to be truths in my life.  These lies that I supposedly laid at the foot of the cross....NOT to take up again.  But guess what?  In my human frailty, I crawled right back over there and put each one of them back in my pocket.  You know what??  I think they grew there in my pocket....

The time has come to lay them down again.  To tell the Teller of Lies to go away.  To let the Light of the World shine on my heart and illuminate the very darkness that tries to dwell there.  Time to send that ancient serpent slithering away and to fall into the arms of my Savior who loves me with no conditions, with grace and forgiveness.  Time to be confident in who I am in Christ.

In the book by Sarah Young titled Jesus Calling, I read these words today...."Instead of trying to "fix" yourself, fix your gaze on Me, the Lover of your soul.  Rather than using your energy to judge yourself, redirect it to praising Me.  Remember that I see you clothed in My righteousness, radiant in My perfect Love." 

So, who am I really?  I am beloved.  I am daughter of the King.  I am beautiful, radiant, worthy, whole, forgiven, saved, sealed, and enough.  In the eyes of man?  Doesn't matter what the world thinks or says.  In the eyes of God?  I matter.  Period.

Are you struggling with lies today?  Are you struggling to "fix" yourself because you think don't measure up to someone else's standards, or even your own?  Let it all go.  Fix your gaze on the One who truly loves you and know that you truly matter to Him.  He desires relationship with you, and for you to let go of the lies that hold you down...the old hurts, the new hurts, the things by which you think others judge you, the things by which you judge yourself.

Who are you really?  You are His.  And so am I.  And how dare I say I don't matter?

A Little Catching Up...

I've had a lot on my mind in the last few weeks....and I am behind in letting go of the lies...or maybe not really behind so much as needing to spend some time on a couple of them.  It's hard to say certain things about yourself, isn't it?  Without thinking that someone will think you are vain or that you think too highly of yourself?

Once when I was a child, someone told me that I looked pretty.  My response?  "I know!," with a grin on my face.  Now a four-year-old has little concept of vanity...but my lesson that day was that it was NOT ok to agree with that statement, but instead to say "Thank you" and leave it at that.  I have since felt uncomfortable if someone tells me I am pretty.  I deny any beauty someone comments on in reference to me.  I might look in the mirror and initially think "Hey, I look pretty good today,"  and then immediately chide myself for thinking such a thing.

I remember watching the Miss USA or Miss Universe pageants as a young girl...imagining myself walking across the stage in a beautiful dress, wearing a crown....or Disney movies about a princess, beautiful and beloved by her knight in shining armor or Prince Charming....wanting to be that beautiful winner or princess.

I remember so many times as a teenager and young adult being out with a beautiful friend...watching how the eyes of the boys we met would pass over me and focus in on my friend instead.  And I began to believe that I was not beautiful, but was instead invisible.  Many quiet Friday nights home alone while my friends were out attested to that, as well.

And the father of lies would whisper in my ear....and I would believe him.  It's only in the last few months that I have started to chip away at that lie.  To know in my heart that whether anyone else thinks I am beautiful or even whether I do, is not as important as what my King and Heavenly Father thinks.  He made me.  And it's not what I look like physically...but that light of Jesus, the blood of Jesus that washes me clean...that makes me beautiful.  When God looks at me, He doesn't see the ugly mess of humanity and sin...instead, He sees a reflection of Jesus' beauty.  He sees His own handiwork and creativity...and He says "It is good."

I am not invisible.  I am not ugly.  I am a beautiful Princess of the King of Kings.  Beloved by the King.  And I don't need to be embarrassed by that or self-conscious of it.  As one created by the Creator of the universe, washed clean by the Savior of mankind, I can instead claim it, believe it.  Stand tall, chin up, face forward  - I am a beautiful daughter of the King. 

And you know what?  You are beautiful, too.  My sisters in Christ, we are all inheritors of the kingdom...beautiful, beloved Princesses.  My brothers in Christ, you are heirs of the King of Heaven...a reflection of Christ to the world.  Will you accept that?  Will you look in the mirror and see the beauty He created in you?!  Look at yourself with His eyes and tell me what you see.....listen to His truth and let go of the lies.

Letting go of lies...#3

2 Corinthians 12:9

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 

My Lenten practice this year is to let go of one lie I have believed about myself each week of Lent.  This week that lie is "I am not enough."  It's a hard one to let go of because I have believed it for so long...and the Teller of Lies likes to make sure I hear it...either from others or just over and over in my own head.

 

Once when I was young I received a letter from a young man...he told me many things in that letter.  But the one thing that stood out was when he told me that I couldn't possible satisfy him for the rest of his life.  That I wasn't enough.  And that stayed with me.  My marriage of 22 years has failed....and in my mind that has been yet another message to me....that I am not enough.

 

I've had a tendency toward perfectionism a good portion of my life.  I had to get straight A's in school, had to do as much as I could...get things done just right, the house clean just so (which it never was or is!)  And when I couldn't live up to my own, very high and sometimes impossible standards....I knew it....I wasn't enough. 

 

As a mom, I've made more mistakes than I want to admit.  I have often felt a failure.  When I've used words too harsh, imposed consequences too tough, held expectations too high...made tears fall from my children's eyes...oh, I have believed I am not a good enough mother.  When someone close to me said they didn't even like my children???  I believed I was not enough...  But a recent letter I got from my daughter who is 13,  assured me that she treasures me, that even though I believe in my own failure...my beautiful girl says I am not...letters from my boys at the same time told me of their love for me...so maybe....I am enough for them....

And what does God say?  "My grace is sufficient for you...."   God's grace falls over me, washing away the lie....telling me that through Him, because of His grace...I am enough.  I AM enough.  I might make mistakes....not everyone out there is going to like me (ack!)...I may still feel down on myself sometimes...but God loves me.  ME! And His love and grace make me whole.  Make me enough.  

Thank you, my Father God...for making me enough...for covering me in Your grace...I lay this lie at the foot of the cross.  I lift up my face and praise You.

Faith Reaching Beyond the Present

So, back to Psalm 77...

We left Asaph wondering where God was...why He was so silent.  Asaph was feeling a little forgotten, alone, overwhelmed.  He was experiencing sleepless nights, lying mute in his bed, moaning to God, laying bare his heart.  How many nights, how many hours might it have been?  Perhaps in the wee morning hours when the dark is just beginning to let go of the world, Asaph lifts his eyes upward and remembers....

¹³ Your ways, God, are holy.
   What god is as great as our God?
¹⁴ You are the God who performs miracles;
   you display your power among the peoples.
¹⁵ With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
   the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. 

Do you feel that?  Do you feel those little rays of hope coming through Asaph's thoughts?  Our God is great, He performs miracles, He displays His power, He redeems his people.  He provided ways out for His people....and even when they grumbled and sinned, He still provided for them.  Always.  Without fail.  He never left them.  And He does the same for us....

 ¹⁶ The waters saw you, God,
   the waters saw you and writhed;
   the very depths were convulsed.
¹⁷ The clouds poured down water,
   the heavens resounded with thunder;
   your arrows flashed back and forth.
¹⁸ Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
   your lightning lit up the world;
   the earth trembled and quaked.
¹⁹ Your path led through the sea,
   your way through the mighty waters,
   though your footprints were not seen. 

Read those words again.  Out loud.  Visualize the awesome power of the convulsing depths, the flashing lighting, the waters fighting against themselves as they separate...feel the trembling of the earth as the thunder rumbles, as a path appears between walls of writhing water....

Asaph remembers God's faithfulness.  He lets go of his present troubles and allows his faith to take hold, to see God's faithfulness in the past, to give him hope for his own future.  We can learn a lesson from Asaph.  When we are troubled, when life seems too overwhelming, when God seems silent...turn to His word.  Read of His faithfulness.  When our arms seem to heavy to hold out toward Him a minute more, when the ache seems too big to get past...think of how He provided for you in the past.  Remember His faithfulness.  And remember, that though His footprints aren't visible...He is there, walking beside you, holding you, keeping you.

******

Letting go of lies...

The evil one has convinced me over and over in his constantly whispering voice that I am worthless.  That I am a failure at so much.  That I am not worthy of a second look.  But I KNOW that I have worth in Christ...that I am a new creation in Him, beloved, whole, redeemed by His blood.  I don't need others to tell me of my worth or worthlessness....I need only to believe that Christ died for me because He loves me and I am worth more than any precious jewel to my Father in heaven.

Security

Who doesn't want security?

Definition of SECURITY
1: the quality or state of being secure: as 
  a : freedom from danger : safety  
  b : freedom from fear or anxiety 

I'll be honest...for many years, I have wanted to feel secure.  Secure in myself, secure in my relationships, financially secure.  Safe, no anxiety, no fear.  Protected.  It has seemed so unobtainable.  Instead, I have felt insecurity in so many areas of my life that I sometimes wonder how I even manage to function.  

Definition of INSECURE
1: not confident or sure : uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe <an insecure investment>
3: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4a : not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage> b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

A couple nights ago when out to dinner with a lovely friend, and dare I say mentor, I was given a challenge.  And yes, it will be a challenge.  She suggested as I go through this Lenten season, as I work through the study on Psalms that I am currently doing with Hello Morning, that I pray about what lies I believe about myself, and to lay them at the foot of the cross.  Now, I admit that at first I thought, "YES, I can do that!"....and then I thought, "Um, I believe a lot of those lies...how can I let them go?"  You see, they have shaped a lot of my life. Yikes.  

For instance, I am not very self-confident...I have a horrible time speaking in front of people, I fear looking strangers in the eye, I tend to look at the ground when I walk rather than out at the world.  I've been told I'm a little unapproachable at times...because my insecurities tend to turn me inside of myself, I believe.

I have always wanted to feel financially secure.  Instead of being content with what I have...I have let a lack of money loom large in my mind to make me feel like I will never get ahead, will always struggle....

So, as I read Psalm 63 this week, here is what I find:

Psalm 63

    A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

 ¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
   and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you;
   I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
   they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
   and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
   all who swear by God will glory in him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced. 

My God loves me - His love is better than life.  My God will satisfy me - He provides all I need (and I have seen proof of this over and over in my life...shame on me for forgetting in the stressful times!)  My God is my help, He protects me and upholds me.  My God gives joy.

And security.  All that adds up to security.  I don't need to look for security in other people.  I don't need to look for security in money.  I don't need to look for security...God's grace is all I need.  I am not insecure.  I am fully secure...in Him alone.  And so this lie that I have believed about myself for most of my life...now goes in a little purple box to lay at the foot of the cross.  I give it up to Him.  And from now on, I will remind myself that I live a life SECURE in my Savior.