Asaph remembers...

This week I am reading and studying Psalm 77, written by Asaph, who seems to be in great distress.  He starts out the Psalm in an anguish you can feel in his words that almost leap off the pages to strike you in the heart.  He cries out to God for help, he talks of sleepless nights reaching out, stretching his hands out to his God...he grew faint and couldn't speak.  Oh, I've had these nights...have you?

It seems that God is silent because Asaph feels rejected, that God is not by his side...these words make my heart ache:

My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

 ⁷ “Will the Lord reject forever?
   Will he never show his favor again?
⁸ Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
   Has his promise failed for all time?
⁹ Has God forgotten to be merciful?
   Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” 

Asaph feels alone, forgotten...hopeless....aching...

But wait....

¹⁰ Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
   the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
¹¹ I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
   yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
¹² I will consider all your works
   and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” 

What is this, Asaph?  What is this turn around...this tiny little speck of light that shows in the darkness...a little bit of backbone that seems to straighten up??   

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; 

...the miracles...all your works...all your mighty deeds."

Let's just think on this for a while...remember....

.....to be continued....

Straight paths...

One of my favorite comics in the newspaper has always been Family Circle...especially the ones where the little boy goes somewhere, but he takes every possible detour along the way....

Some days just feel that way, don't they?  A long winding path that takes you twice as long to get there...sometimes finding good things along the way...and sometimes not.  Sometimes, there is just a lot of confusion and distraction that take your eyes off the goal...off of Jesus....and pretty soon you are wondering where in the world you are going....or if you are anywhere near God's will for your life.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.


Trust in the Lord....and see where His path leads....

Grace after grace...

Counting the reasons to say thanks....

81. feeling the mojo and creating cards.
82. Kira's last basketball game - they lost, but she played well and it was exciting.
83. blessed to be able to give flowers to the sweet team mom who provided snacks after games!
84. a stressful day, but an evening of fun ahead!
85. an extra night with the kids and didn't have to cook dinner!
86. a missed call, but a voicemail that made me smile.
87. long conversations and lots of laughter
88. creating little works of art
89. a clean kitchen because we all worked together
90. shoe shopping with Kira and a fun saleswoman
91. quiet time to relax and rest and reflect
92. dinner and pretty toes with Jenny
93. the start of my Walk with Christ weekend
94. communion with new friends
95. gifts galore
96. lessons on faith
97. the shedding of tears in the safety of friendship and love
98. forgiveness
99. making s'mores
100. experiencing agape over and over and knowing deep within my soul that Jesus loves ME, that I am a beloved daughter of God.
101. a wonderful, memorable awakening
102. the gift of a book from a new beloved and very special friend
103. more hugs than I could ever count
104. gift after gift after gift - with no expectations or strings attached
105. dinner with family and friends
106. a long, hot shower
107. a new birthday
108. a chance to serve the Lord
109. realizing I paid the bills and bought groceries...and there is still money left!
110. texts from a new friend
111. messages of love and encouragement
112. God provides financially - and not just for needs, but for the occasional special treat to brighten the day, too!
113. greetings that remind me of God's love
114. the sweet smell of flowers!

Singin' on Sunday - Mike's Chair - Keep Changing the World

Got a letter from my little Vishal this last week (See my Compassion Family page).  He received a gift from his financial sponsor and was able to buy blankets for himself and his family...his world is changing little by little and I'm so happy for him!!  :)

Security

Who doesn't want security?

Definition of SECURITY
1: the quality or state of being secure: as 
  a : freedom from danger : safety  
  b : freedom from fear or anxiety 

I'll be honest...for many years, I have wanted to feel secure.  Secure in myself, secure in my relationships, financially secure.  Safe, no anxiety, no fear.  Protected.  It has seemed so unobtainable.  Instead, I have felt insecurity in so many areas of my life that I sometimes wonder how I even manage to function.  

Definition of INSECURE
1: not confident or sure : uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe <an insecure investment>
3: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4a : not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage> b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

A couple nights ago when out to dinner with a lovely friend, and dare I say mentor, I was given a challenge.  And yes, it will be a challenge.  She suggested as I go through this Lenten season, as I work through the study on Psalms that I am currently doing with Hello Morning, that I pray about what lies I believe about myself, and to lay them at the foot of the cross.  Now, I admit that at first I thought, "YES, I can do that!"....and then I thought, "Um, I believe a lot of those lies...how can I let them go?"  You see, they have shaped a lot of my life. Yikes.  

For instance, I am not very self-confident...I have a horrible time speaking in front of people, I fear looking strangers in the eye, I tend to look at the ground when I walk rather than out at the world.  I've been told I'm a little unapproachable at times...because my insecurities tend to turn me inside of myself, I believe.

I have always wanted to feel financially secure.  Instead of being content with what I have...I have let a lack of money loom large in my mind to make me feel like I will never get ahead, will always struggle....

So, as I read Psalm 63 this week, here is what I find:

Psalm 63

    A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

 ¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
   and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you;
   I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
   they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
   and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
   all who swear by God will glory in him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced. 

My God loves me - His love is better than life.  My God will satisfy me - He provides all I need (and I have seen proof of this over and over in my life...shame on me for forgetting in the stressful times!)  My God is my help, He protects me and upholds me.  My God gives joy.

And security.  All that adds up to security.  I don't need to look for security in other people.  I don't need to look for security in money.  I don't need to look for security...God's grace is all I need.  I am not insecure.  I am fully secure...in Him alone.  And so this lie that I have believed about myself for most of my life...now goes in a little purple box to lay at the foot of the cross.  I give it up to Him.  And from now on, I will remind myself that I live a life SECURE in my Savior.

Five Minute Friday....Ache

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.
We write because we love words and the relief it is to just write them without worrying if they’re just right or not. So we take five minutes on Friday and write like we used to finger paint. For joy in the process. No matter how messy the result.
Got five minutes? Come and write with us, we promise to tell you we loved it! (<—Tweet this!)

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.
OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:
::

Ache…

Ready, set, write....

I was in a room this last weekend with a whole lot of women who could fill pages and pages with their ache...the pain was clearly felt by each of us as we shared the things that made us ache, hurt, cry, feel vulnerable, feel worthless, feel....

And yet, overwhelmingly, over all that ache, all those tears, all that pain...every woman in that room found it possible to stand. To stand on the ROCK...the One who holds us all in His strong arms and keeps us moving forward. The One who knows us inside and out....the good, the bag, the ugly, the beautiful....and keeps on loving us no matter what. The One who will not disappoint. The One who will not leave. The One who will take our broken, aching, tired lives and make us whole. The One who promises hope and a future.

And slowly, as we dried the tears, hugged each other, and started to smile...we realized that He also takes that ache...maybe not away, but takes it and endures it with us.

Stop. 

Uncertainty

Today's BlogHer writing prompt is this:  How do you feel about uncertainty? Is it exciting or scary?

ACK! Scary!  I don't like surprises.  I don't like not knowing what's coming next.  I don't like wondering.  Don't tell me you have a secret or a surprise, because by golly, I want to know NOW!

There are so many things in life that are uncertain...will I wake in the morning?  How many more breaths will I take?  What will happen to my children, my family, my friends?  What if something goes wrong.  Oh my goodness....so many things to worry about.  So many things to be anxious over....uncertainty = worry....

So many things to lay at the foot of the cross and know with CERTAINTY that GOD is in CONTROL!

Matthew 6:27
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?

I love this question in Matthew...wow, if worrying could add hours to my life...I could almost live forever!!  Seriously.  Come on now....it doesn't work.  In fact, really?  It does the opposite.  How many hours have you wasted worrying?  I know I've lost a whole lot of them.  Hours that could have been much better used by trusting God to be as faithful as He has always been.  Hours I will never get back.

Yes, life is uncertain in so many ways.  But I am CERTAIN that God is bigger than all those things.  God is more powerful than all those things.  God is in CONTROL of all those things.  Yes, we hurt.  Yes, we wonder why bad things happen to us.  Yes, we cry, we rant, we rage.  But when we stop....lift our eyes to behold the cross and the Savior who sacrificed Himself for us...when we remember His faithfulness in all things...we can be CERTAIN that He loves us, that He holds us up... that one day we will feel His very finger wipe away the last tear from our faces.

I learned something about surprises this past weekend.  I learned that it's ok to be uncertain about what's going to happen next...to just take hold of God's hand and let Him lead the way.  I learned that maybe I could learn to like surprises, to go with the uncertainty and see what He has in store for me....because after all....

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Yep, that's for certain!