Security

Who doesn't want security?

Definition of SECURITY
1: the quality or state of being secure: as 
  a : freedom from danger : safety  
  b : freedom from fear or anxiety 

I'll be honest...for many years, I have wanted to feel secure.  Secure in myself, secure in my relationships, financially secure.  Safe, no anxiety, no fear.  Protected.  It has seemed so unobtainable.  Instead, I have felt insecurity in so many areas of my life that I sometimes wonder how I even manage to function.  

Definition of INSECURE
1: not confident or sure : uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe <an insecure investment>
3: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4a : not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage> b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

A couple nights ago when out to dinner with a lovely friend, and dare I say mentor, I was given a challenge.  And yes, it will be a challenge.  She suggested as I go through this Lenten season, as I work through the study on Psalms that I am currently doing with Hello Morning, that I pray about what lies I believe about myself, and to lay them at the foot of the cross.  Now, I admit that at first I thought, "YES, I can do that!"....and then I thought, "Um, I believe a lot of those lies...how can I let them go?"  You see, they have shaped a lot of my life. Yikes.  

For instance, I am not very self-confident...I have a horrible time speaking in front of people, I fear looking strangers in the eye, I tend to look at the ground when I walk rather than out at the world.  I've been told I'm a little unapproachable at times...because my insecurities tend to turn me inside of myself, I believe.

I have always wanted to feel financially secure.  Instead of being content with what I have...I have let a lack of money loom large in my mind to make me feel like I will never get ahead, will always struggle....

So, as I read Psalm 63 this week, here is what I find:

Psalm 63

    A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

 ¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
   my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
   and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you;
   I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
   they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
   and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
   all who swear by God will glory in him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced. 

My God loves me - His love is better than life.  My God will satisfy me - He provides all I need (and I have seen proof of this over and over in my life...shame on me for forgetting in the stressful times!)  My God is my help, He protects me and upholds me.  My God gives joy.

And security.  All that adds up to security.  I don't need to look for security in other people.  I don't need to look for security in money.  I don't need to look for security...God's grace is all I need.  I am not insecure.  I am fully secure...in Him alone.  And so this lie that I have believed about myself for most of my life...now goes in a little purple box to lay at the foot of the cross.  I give it up to Him.  And from now on, I will remind myself that I live a life SECURE in my Savior.

Five Minute Friday....Ache

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.
We write because we love words and the relief it is to just write them without worrying if they’re just right or not. So we take five minutes on Friday and write like we used to finger paint. For joy in the process. No matter how messy the result.
Got five minutes? Come and write with us, we promise to tell you we loved it! (<—Tweet this!)

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.
OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:
::

Ache…

Ready, set, write....

I was in a room this last weekend with a whole lot of women who could fill pages and pages with their ache...the pain was clearly felt by each of us as we shared the things that made us ache, hurt, cry, feel vulnerable, feel worthless, feel....

And yet, overwhelmingly, over all that ache, all those tears, all that pain...every woman in that room found it possible to stand. To stand on the ROCK...the One who holds us all in His strong arms and keeps us moving forward. The One who knows us inside and out....the good, the bag, the ugly, the beautiful....and keeps on loving us no matter what. The One who will not disappoint. The One who will not leave. The One who will take our broken, aching, tired lives and make us whole. The One who promises hope and a future.

And slowly, as we dried the tears, hugged each other, and started to smile...we realized that He also takes that ache...maybe not away, but takes it and endures it with us.

Stop. 

Uncertainty

Today's BlogHer writing prompt is this:  How do you feel about uncertainty? Is it exciting or scary?

ACK! Scary!  I don't like surprises.  I don't like not knowing what's coming next.  I don't like wondering.  Don't tell me you have a secret or a surprise, because by golly, I want to know NOW!

There are so many things in life that are uncertain...will I wake in the morning?  How many more breaths will I take?  What will happen to my children, my family, my friends?  What if something goes wrong.  Oh my goodness....so many things to worry about.  So many things to be anxious over....uncertainty = worry....

So many things to lay at the foot of the cross and know with CERTAINTY that GOD is in CONTROL!

Matthew 6:27
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ?

I love this question in Matthew...wow, if worrying could add hours to my life...I could almost live forever!!  Seriously.  Come on now....it doesn't work.  In fact, really?  It does the opposite.  How many hours have you wasted worrying?  I know I've lost a whole lot of them.  Hours that could have been much better used by trusting God to be as faithful as He has always been.  Hours I will never get back.

Yes, life is uncertain in so many ways.  But I am CERTAIN that God is bigger than all those things.  God is more powerful than all those things.  God is in CONTROL of all those things.  Yes, we hurt.  Yes, we wonder why bad things happen to us.  Yes, we cry, we rant, we rage.  But when we stop....lift our eyes to behold the cross and the Savior who sacrificed Himself for us...when we remember His faithfulness in all things...we can be CERTAIN that He loves us, that He holds us up... that one day we will feel His very finger wipe away the last tear from our faces.

I learned something about surprises this past weekend.  I learned that it's ok to be uncertain about what's going to happen next...to just take hold of God's hand and let Him lead the way.  I learned that maybe I could learn to like surprises, to go with the uncertainty and see what He has in store for me....because after all....

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Yep, that's for certain!

Singing on Sunday - Jeremy Camp - Carried Me

One of my favorite poems has always been Footprints.  The cross I wear daily has footprints on one side, and the words "It was then that I carried you." on the other side.  

I am so grateful that He does carry me...

"Jesus, you have carried me, when I could not stand...."

"Jesus, you have carried me, it was always in your hands....."

Counting gifts of grace...

I'm a little behind on my list...so....

55. words of love that uplift
56. friends who care
57. cello concerts
58. glimpses of the future
59. the release of tears
60. snow!
61. and a two hour delay because of it - means extra time with the kids!
62. activities cancelled means an extra unexpected evening at home!  :)
63. friends who brought lunch to me at work today
64. a warm and cozy home on a cold and snowy day.

65. an exciting "secret" full of possibilities!
66. a Valentine's card in the mail from a secret pal!
67. an unexpected phone call that even though it was short, made me smile
68. quiet time alone this evening
69. lunch out with friends on a rainy day

70. a mostly full pantry :)
71. Kira and her dad going to the father/daughter dance
72. a mission trip meeting - looking forward to another trip to Lodge Grass
73. lunch with new members at the church
74. a sweet little girl sitting on my lap during music at Sunday school
75. my three-year-old Sunday schoolers and the dads who always stay to help!
76. bright, brilliant sunshine!

and today's gifts:
77. roses for my desk at work
78. getting lost, calling for help, finding the right place, but missing half of Kira's basketball game....praise in the hard
79. watching my girl play some great basketball!!  :)
80. having to say no to an opportunity, and a gracious daughter who understood




 http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/02/why-its-time-to-get-out-of-your-comfort-zone/

Singin on Sunday - Busted Heart

This song speaks for me today.  God will hold on to our broken hearts...He will never let us go!

Five Minute Friday...Real

 Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.
We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery.
We just write without worrying if it’s just write or not.
Won’t you join us?

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:
::

Real…

 (Gypsy Mama)




Today I got a letter in the mail from a little boy in India for whom I am a correspondence sponsor.  I don't financially sponsor him...I write letters to him, someone else sponsors him.  But I get letters written on his behalf...never from him, but about him.

Today's letter was a little different.  Still written in his behalf...but it included a photo and a hand drawn and colored Christmas card that he made for me.  Precious...and real. 

You see, Vishal lives in an area where the monthly income is around $20 a month.  He was given a financial Christmas gift and was able to purchase food for his family with it.  In the photo is my sweet heart-son, Vishal, so thin and sad...and his beautiful, and also quite thin, mother.  Between them is a pile of food,,,,that must amount to a fortune to them.  Much less than what I bring home from the grocery store for a week for myself and three kids.  Definitely much less variety.  Rather meager.  Real.

So many of us think we have "so little"....and yet, in reality...we are so abundantly blessed. 

Instead of extravagant gifts...Vishal's family bought sustenance...to fill their need.  To fill their stomachs.  He's so thin, my little heart-son.  "He and his family are so thankful to you for your kind support and love."  Real.  To whoever pays the financial support for Vishal...thank you so much.  I pray that the food they bought will strengthen their bodies, and allow him to grow and thrive.